Monday, August 26, 2013

"I STILL HAVE IT . . . I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It: Confessions of a Fiftysomething" by Rita Rudner

   Rita Rudner, you deceived me! I have been on a kick lately of reading books about navigating the turbulent waters of hitting mid-life since I'm not doing it so well on my own. I thought this was one of those books from reading the flap blurb. This is SO not one of those books. But I ain't mad, I got nothing but love for you (a fave quote from "Independence Day" I just had to throw in here, in case there are any other "ID" fans out there), because I needed this book way more than more how-to-turn-50 tips. YOU MADE ME LAUGH! Out loud even, and that's rare for me. So thanks for deceiving me! And I could read the short chapters, each a stand-alone comedy routine, on my breaks and actually return to work with a smile! I'm sure my co-workers would say "thanks" as well if they were writing this with me.
   What parts made me laugh the hardest? That's tough to pin down because the whole book is hilarious, but here are a few for starters. I loved "Dining in the Dark," where Rita and husband Martin try to break out of their take-out habit by exploring one of "The Top Ten Hottest Places to Eat in L.A," according to Martin's magazine. Unfortunately, the article didn't mention they didn't actually get to "eat" at these places! All of the vignettes about house-hunting and moving and remodeling are hysterical -- of course, not to Rita and Martin, but then it did give her lots of writing material. Reading about Rita's quirky, crazy father gave me lots of laughs, and as a bonus made me feel that my own quirky, crazy father isn't quite so bad. "To Hell in a Handbag" is a hoot, especially since I've wrestled with my own "LV" envy over the years. And the Bonkers chapter stole the show, as he did Rita's show, as well as stole my heart! Put it this way, there is no un-funny story in the entire book!
   Plus the quotes made me laugh and tack up a few on my bulletin board! I'll only share my faves (because this is a book review, not an entire book!):

I can never ask for money back after I've loaned it to a friend and they forget to return it. The most I can do, when I'm over their house, is break something of that approximate value.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I don't plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.

My husband won't let me sunbathe topless. He says he's afraid I might poke someone's knee out.

I don't want to be in good shape anymore. I don't want to be one of those women who look great from the back and then turn around and frighten people.

   See what I mean?! The quotes are fabulous! Even the last chapter, where Rita shares other book titles she considered -- "Artificially Hip," "That Botox Has Sailed," "Aged to Imperfection," "I'm Still Hot (It Just Comes in Flashes)" -- made me crack up so much I wanted to start the book all over again.
   If you're like me and can't afford a face-lift to make you feel better, get Rita's book and get a laugh-lift instead -- it's cheaper and totally pain-free!!

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