"Year Of Yes" by Shonda Rhimes

   I say, "Yes, Yes, Yes!" to Shonda Rhimes' new memoir Year Of Yes with the same exuberance as Meg Ryan portrayed her character Sally's faux orgasm in the movie When Harry Met Sally! Loved it! 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOmVILOvmfA 


   While not a self-help book, Year Of Yes certainly could be as Rhimes takes the reader through an entire year of changing up her entire life by saying "YES" to doing things that would have previously been met with an automatic and fierce "NO" to avoid the
   Dry mouth.
   Heart beats so, so fast.
   Everything in slow motion.
   Pass out, die, poop.
results she had feared most of her life. By saying "yes," Rhimes becomes fearless in facing giving a commencement speech at her alma mater, taking back her body and health, cutting loose soul-sucking friends, and owning her own badassery (her word, and I dig it!), among other things. And she doesn't pass out, die, or poop. Not once. But she does become happier. And stronger. And through telling about her journey, she made me laugh so many times, which I SO needed as I was reading this book while trying to survive the holidays working at a crazy McCray-cray (my word, do you dig it?) busy hair salon. And she made me ponder things in my life I've been saying "no" to, which maybe should be a "yes." So Year Of Yes is a bonus book: a memoir with self-help snippets at no extra charge. If you've read any of my writing, you know how I love a bonus.
   In case you didn't know -- I didn't, I will admit it -- Rhimes is the powerhouse behind the shows Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away with Murder, aka the "Thank God It's Thursday" lineup on ABC. Not being familiar with her shows, I sometimes felt like I was reading a foreign language about her "ride or dies," "dancing it out," and the Papa Pope references. But still I loved the book. She shares so many "I need to be doing that" ideas and quotable quotes, but my fave part is from the "Yes to Who I Am" chapter:

"We all spend our lives kicking the crap out of ourselves for not being this way or that way, not having this thing or that thing, not being like this person or that person.

For not living up to some standard we think applies across the board to all of us.

We all spend our lives trying to follow the same path, live by the same rules.

I think we believe that happiness lies in following the same list of rules.

In being more like everyone else.

That? Is wrong.

There is no list of rules.

There is one rule.

The rule is: there are no rules.

Happiness comes from living as you need to, as you want to. As your inner voice tells you to. Happiness comes from being who you actually are instead of who you think you are supposed to be."

   See? Self-help bonus! Maybe this quote isn't news to you, but it's definitely something I needed to be reminded of. At this beginning of a new year, the Year Of Yes has given me plenty to ponder in changes I want to make in my life. And another bonus, new (to me) TV shows to check out during the long, cold winter nights ahead.
   Thanks, Shonda Rhimes, for a fabulous read and so, so many bonuses!

"Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear" by Elizabeth Gilbert

   I dig the title Big Magic, but in keeping with Liz Gilbert's blockbuster book that became a mega-hit movie, this book should be called "Feast, Meditate, Adore." Loved it!
   Gilbert serves up a buffet of practical but inspired advice on living your most creative life, no matter what mode of mojo that stirs your creative juices. Served up in small delicious helpings so you can graze instead of feeling stuffed with information, she takes you through all the courses needed to satisfy your creative appetite and keep you coming back for more: courage, enchantment, permission, persistence, trust, and divinity.
   I devoured Big Magic in three days but spent a lot of time in ceiling-staring contemplation while the big ideas took their time sinking in. Gilbert seems to have had her act together even as a teenager in wanting to be a writer and committing to it no matter what, believing in herself and believing that if she courts inspiration, inspiration will find her again and again. Me? Not so much. Many of the lessons she imparts I've had to learn the hard way, through beating my head against the table where I write until there finally comes an "aha" moment from observing my patterns and seeing the big picture. So many things Gilbert teaches I still didn't know, and Big Magic will be my bible going forth to keep me on the creative path and save me from many head-beating headaches.
   I adore Gilbert's writing style, simple and succinct, but zesty with real-life anecdotes and delectable quotes. Some of my fave parts are "The Shit Sandwich," "Fierce Trust" -- the outcome cannot matter (I've already pinned this quote on my life tips cork board!) -- and the Liz Gilbert/Ann Patchett Amazonian mind-meld connection. There wasn't total adoration though. Gilbert challenged me, even shamed me on letting my ego get in the way and expecting rewards from something (creativity/inspiration) given to me freely. But these were lessons I needed to learn. She also pissed me off in dissing my dream of winning the lottery. She calls it "self-infantilizing." I call it "the hope of retirement," Sweetie. But I forgive her, and I'll keep buying those lottery tickets so someday I might be able to quit my day job and devote myself to becoming a writer half as good as Liz Gilbert. Until then, I will look in the mirror and say "I am a writer," I will sit down and put words on paper every day in the snippets of time I can find, and I will let myself PLAY with writing and whatever other creative inclinations that inspiration sends my way. I will remember:

"You are worthy, dear one, regardless of the outcome. You will keep making your work, regardless of the outcome. You will keep sharing your work, regardless of the outcome. You were born to create, regardless of the outcome. You will never lose trust in the creative process, even when you don't understand the outcome."

   Thanks, Liz!   

"The Book of Joan: Tales of Mirth, Mischief, and Manipulation" by Melissa Rivers

   OMJ, I just finished The Book of Joan by Melissa Rivers and it is this Joan Ranger's dream come true! "What the heck is a Joan Ranger?" you may be asking. According to urbandictionary.com, a Joan Ranger is "fans and followers of Joan Rivers while she is hosting Fashion Police on the E! Network." As an actual Joan Ranger, I would take the definition way beyond fans and followers, I would go all the way to devotees, fanatics, even junkies. It is hard for me to believe, even harder to admit, that until a couple of years ago I didn't know what a Joan Ranger was, didn't even really care for Joan Rivers. I thought she was obnoxious. That all changed the first time I watched Fashion Police -- I WAS HOOKED, just like a coke addict after snorting their first line! Joan was hilarious, cracking me up and often slaying her cohosts "G" (Giuliana Rancic), Kel-Kel (Kelly Osbourne), and Georgie-Porgie (George Kotsiopoulos) with her raucous quips to the point that sometimes they couldn't even speak when it was their turn to comment. They were in shock and guffaw, while I was in fashion and funny heaven, literally dragging my ass through the work week just to get to my Friday night Fashion Police fix. Ask my boyfriend, when Fashion Police was on, he no longer existed.
   Since Ms. Joan passed in September 2014, I have been subsisting on the Fashion Police: Remembering Joan Rivers 90-minute special (unfortunately the only FP I saved on the DVR, which has been viewed and savored many times!), watching Giuliana and Kelly host red carpet events, and the short-lived revival of Fashion Police with Kathy Griffin at the helm. Believe me, the lack of Joan in my life has been depressing, like hearing about Lindsay Lohan in the news but without Joan's follow-up ba-rum-bum rehab or vagina jokes: what could have been funny was just sad. BUT, my life just got a lot better with The Book of Joan! Melissa Rivers is hilarious, too, with a caustic wit a lot like her mother's but with a sliver of sweetness to it, plus her own daughter-of-a-diva view of the world. Reading the book, which I did in two and a half days (and one of those days I had to work!), was like getting a behind-the-scenes pass to hang out with Joan and Melissa in real life. And what a cray-cray life they had together! There are way too many uproarious scenes to recount here, but one in particular -- "The Purse" chapter, page 155 -- about bacon bits and fake blood had me laughing so hard I was crying right in the middle of getting a pedicure and the Asian nail technician started fanning me because she must have thought I was being overcome by shellac remover fumes! 
   If you are a Fashion Police lover, a fashionista, a Joan Rivers' fan, or just someone who likes to laugh, read the book. You'll love it, it's a gem! Melissa Rivers is not only funny but an excellent writer as well. And it gets even better: she will be co-hosting Fashion Police when it returns in August. Melissa was the producer before and often sat in as guest co-host when one of the regulars was away, so I always thought she would be the perfect person to resurrect the show. Now after reading her book, I know it's meant to be. She is truly funny in her own right and the only one capable of filling Joan's chair.
   Melissa Rivers, this Joan Ranger salutes you and can't wait to hear your first pick for fash-hole of the week! 

"The Woman I Wanted To Be" by Diane von Furstenberg

   If you ever wondered why most of my book reviews are of memoirs or biographies, The Woman I Wanted To Be is why. Despite reading being one of my fave things to do, time to just sit and have a leisurely read-fest is limited. In order to get the biggest bang for my buck -- to be entertained as well as to learn something new -- I gravitate to reading what is REAL. Plus I guess I'm a bit of a voyeur and enjoy peeping inside another person's life without being considered a stalker. Believe me, a book doesn't get any more real, more entertaining, more full of wisdom out the wazoo, and more behind-closed-doors titillating than The Woman I Wanted To Be by Diane von Furstenberg!
   I have admired DVF since her explosion into the Seventies fashion scene with the wrap dress. She and her clingy, jersey dresses were the epitome of Studio 54 sexy chic! I envied her wild flaming red hair, her sensual confidence, her European sophistication and style, and her real-life princess turned fashion designer fairytale-like journey. Now, after reading her book, I know she is a woman just like me -- often unsure; sometimes taking wrong turns; struggling with aging and feeling good about yourself in a youth-obsessed world; and striving to live your life as true and full as possible so in the end there are no regrets -- and I admire her even more. Through it all, the many highs and lows and reincarnations of herself and her brand, DVF has focused on "the woman she wants to be" and kept marching forward to make that happen. Thank you, Diane, for showing me the way as well!
   In order not to quote the whole damn book (it's that good, but I want you to read it for yourself!), I'll share just a few of the passages that I will carry with me as I march forward:      

On facing challenges: "When I have an obstacle in front of me, especially of someone else's making, I say 'OK. I don't like it, but I can't change it, so let's find a way around it.' Then I find a different path to a solution, which so satisfies me that I forget what the problem was in the first place. Of all the lessons my mother drummed into me, that was perhaps the most important. How could you possibly better yourself if you didn't face your challenges up front or if you laid your problems off on someone or something else and didn't learn from them?"

Beauty is: "Character. Intelligence. Strength. Style. That makes beauty. All these attributes form beauty, and personality, that elusive state of being that is not necessarily perfect."

The truth about aging: "Aging is out of your control. How you handle it, though, is in your hands."

"And never, ever lie about your age. Who can lie with the Internet anyway? To embrace your age is to embrace your life. Lying about your age, or about anything for that matter, is the beginning of trouble; it is the beginning of lying about who you are. What is important is to live fully every single day of every period of every age so that no time gets wasted."

"The best thing about aging, I have come to understand, is that you have a past. No one can take that away, so you'd better like it. That is why it is so important to waste no time. By living fully every day, you create your life and that becomes your past, a rich past."

"In my older face, I see my life. Every wrinkle, every smile line, every age spot. My life is written on my face. There is a saying that with age, you look outside what you are inside. If you are someone who never smiles your face gets saggy. If you're a person who smiles a lot, you will have more smile lines. Your wrinkles reflect the roads you've taken; they form the map of your life. My face reflects the wind and sun and rain and dust from the trips I've taken. My curiosity and love of life have filled me with colors and experiences and I wear them all with gratitude and pride. My face carries all my memories. Why would I erase them?"

Becoming the woman you want to be: "You cannot have a good relationship with anyone, unless you first have it with yourself. Once you have that, any other relationship is a plus, and not a must. Become your best friend; it is well worth it. It takes a lot of work and it can be painful because it requires honesty and discipline. It means you have to accept who you are, see all your faults and weaknesses. Having done that, you can correct, improve, and little by little discover the things you do like about yourself and start to design your life. There is no love unless there is truth and there is nothing truer than discovering and accepting who you really are. By being critical, you will find things you dislike as well as things you like, and the whole package is who you are. The whole package is what you must embrace and the whole package is what you have control of. It is you! Everything you think, do, like, becomes the person you are and the whole thing weaves into a life, your life."

"I didn't really know what I wanted to do, but I knew the woman I wanted to become."

   Beyond all the life lessons Diane imparts, this memoir is packed full of celebrity tidbits, behind-the-scenes glimpses of the fashion industry, tales of her travels around the globe, a fabulous photo gallery, and juicy details of the many loves of a woman who likes to fall in love. Loved it, loved it all!  
   What a fascinating and inspiring woman DVF was, is, and will continue to become!  

"How To Be Parisian Wherever You Are: Love, Style, and Bad Habits"

   PARIS -- never been, must go! J'adore Paris ever since Carrie Bradshaw was "An American Girl in Paris" in the final two episodes of Sex and the City. Beyond seeing all the fabulous sights and wining and dining in charming bistros, I want that laid-back yet über sexy Parisienne flair to be my flair. How lucky for me that How To Be Parisian Wherever You Are: Love, Style, and Bad Habits is fresh off the press! Written by four long-time friends -- Anne Berest, Audrey Diwan, Caroline de Maigret, and Sophie Mas (even their names sound sophisticated!) -- as if they were sharing secrets with you over cocktails, this book has given me the tools to let my "inner Parisienne" out until I actually make it to France.

   Just a few How To Be Parisian gems:

* "Don't be afraid of aging. As the saying goes, don't be afraid of anything but fear itself."

* "Make it look easy. Everything you do should seem effortless and graceful." (I've used this one a ton lately -- working in a hair salon during the holidays is STRESSFUL!)

* perfecting the Parisienne pout

* "Taking yourself too seriously" is a major faux pas. (Another tip I've been using every day!)

* Start every party with champagne to kick up the festivity but add a few ice cubes to stay hydrated and nix the next-day hangover.

* When dressing sexy, less is more. "The Parisienne never gives too much away. When it comes to revealing herself, she follows one golden rule: less is definitely more."

* The art of being naked means "in short, you're not a slave to the cult of the perfect body -- so learn to make the best of what nature gave you."

* how-tos on hair, skin, and plastic surgery for that "au naturel" look

* forget perfection (a very American bad habit), play up your imperfections instead

   I could go on and on, but I want to leave you something to read for yourself because this book is a HOOT! Beyond the life lessons, you'll love the quirky "Scenes From Parisian Life" and candid photos that feel like you've stumbled onto your bestie's diary and sneaked a peek. If you are looking for a fun, quick read that will transport you to Paris -- and to being Parisienne -- from your favorite arm chair, you've found it!

"I'll Drink to That: A life in style, with a twist" by Betty Halbreich (with Rebecca Paley)

   Can retail therapy really save your life? For Betty Halbreich it did. She went from falling apart after the break-up of her marriage, followed by an extended stay in a psych ward, to falling into the perfect life-saving career as a personal shopper for customers of Bergdorf Goodman, the crème de la crème of New York City department stores. And Halbreich is still doing it forty years later, dressing clients and running Bergdorf's Solutions department, at age 86!
   What a fascinating life Miss Betty has lived, which she throws wide open like double closet doors in the new memoir: I'll Drink to That: A life in style, with a twist.  In her distinctively classy but candid style, Halbreich shares her journey from an insular upbringing as an only child in Chicago, fairytale-like with servants and custom-made clothes, to her whirlwind romance and marriage to Sonny Halbreich, a dabbler in real estate and fashion whose real passion, Miss Betty finds out too late, is booze, affairs, and living the high life. To cope with her Park Avenue loneliness and lack of purpose, Halbreich turns to shopping with the ladies-who-lunch. And she was good at it, it came easy for her, and she became the go-to gal for help in "looking put together" within her crowd. When Edna Woolman Chase, the legendary Editor-in-Chief for Vogue, said, "Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess," she could have been speaking directly about Betty Halbreich.

   While at times I felt sad for Miss Betty's struggles with confidence, feeling lost within her own life, and having to deal with Sonny's bad-boy behavior until she finally gave him the boot -- he was quite an ass! -- seeing her life unfold on paper was like watching a masterpiece being painted, with each event and experience, each job and connection, layering on the canvas of her journey to culminate in a very rare phenomenon: finding exactly what you are meant to do, making a good living at it, and actually loving doing it. Going way beyond personal shopping, Miss Betty has become a mentor, confidante, social worker, and lay counselor to her wide variety of clients AND SHE LOVES IT. Maybe not all day -- some of her clients sound so insanely demanding they should be banned from Bergdorf's, but Miss Betty tolerates them with wit and tough love -- but every day. After forty years! I am so jealous! I have been looking for a "calling" like this my entire life. But I've got a while left before I hit 86, so maybe there's hope for me.

   Love this book! And I adore Miss Betty! She tells (and sells) the truth straight up, but makes it palatable with a twist of humor. I gobbled up all the delicious details of Big Apple life through the decades like a pie straight out of the oven, then the whip cream on top was the secret tidbits about the fashion and costume designers she connected with through her Solutions department. And anyone who's read any of my writing can guess that I nearly went out of my mind when Miss Betty wrote about helping Pat Field dress the Sex and the City ladies -- my bestest gal pals for six seasons! -- and her many encounters personal shopping with Joan Rivers! I am a "Joan Ranger" for life and am still mourning the recent loss of my Fashion Police guru.

   Just like Fashion Police and Sex and the City, I never wanted I'll Drink to That to end, but sadly it did. Now I'll just have to read Miss Betty's other book, Secrets of a Fashion Therapist, and hope she writes another very soon. 

   (Kudos to Rebecca Paley for co-writing this memoir! I'll be looking for more of her work as well.)

     

   

"What I Was Doing While You Were Breeding" (a Memoir) by Kristin Newman

   I SO wanted to hate Kristin Newman!

   On my fave show "Fashion Police," there is a segment called "Bitch Stole My Look!," featuring two celebs caught wearing the same outfit, and the hosts dish on who wore it better. In Kristin Newman's case, I'm calling the segment "Bitch Stole My Life!," or at least the life I wish I had. Newman makes her living as a TV comedy writer, most notably for the wildly popular shows "How I Met Your Mother" and "That '70s Show," and makes a buttload of money doing it. I am also a writer -- of two twenty-something-selling books (aka not wildly popular) and three blogs I write for free that barely get noticed -- that scrapes by financially at a day-job in a salon. (If you are one of the few that do actually read my blogs: thank you, thank you, thank you!) With her buttload of money, Newman travels all over the world having fabulous adventures while on hiatus from writing. I, on the other hand, am a self-proclaimed adventurista (I have a blog to prove it!) whose only venture outside the USofA was twenty-some years ago to the Bahamas and whose most recent adventure was to Nashville (not so fabulous). And now it seems Newman is on the verge of being a best-selling author with this memoir and make even more money to fund even more exotic excursions while I sit home and write this free blog. In the battle of "Bitch Stole My Life," Newman wins big time, hence why I wanted to hate her.
   But I couldn't! She is too damn hilarious and fun and self-deprecating and crazy enough to try anything. Instead, I wanted to be her bestie, to be right by her side and "do the thing you're supposed to do in the place you're supposed to do it," her number one rule of adventuring. Except I'd have to draw the line at being by her side during the number one thing she does during her travels: having sex with foreigners. Bestie or not, three is a crowd in the bedroom (and on a boat, in a hammock, and on a kitchen counter -- just a few of the places Newman had international sex-capades).
   Love, love, love this book! Besides being one hell of a hootie read, this memoir is packed with bonus educational tidbits: fun things to see and do from Iceland to Antarctica (or close); how to pick up hot dudes when you don't speak the language; tips for writers on turning painful personal experiences into marketable material; and the basic rules for being a good traveler and travel companion. I do dig getting a two-fer! And Kristin, I have memorized and agree to abide by your road-tripping rules, so the next time you whip out your passport for adventures abroad, give me a call. Then we can write a buddy book or TV series about our time together, and I can get started on the life I wish I had!

http://theotherkristinnewman.com/